Big Papi, Kaka, Favre and more

Lemme start today off by offering my two cents regarding the ongoing disappearing act of David Ortiz. The guy cant hit anything right now, has only 2 home runs on the year and at last check was barely slugging over .300 with a batting average of .198. Ahhh, it kills me to read those stats. But what hurts worse is to think that part of it is due to the absence of a certain fertility drug-using dreadlock-waving guy that is currently with the Los Angeles Dodgers (I refuse to say his name). He once protected Big Papi in the Sox lineup, but since his trade to the west coast, Papi's numbers have steadily been on the decline. 

Sure, there are many other factors playing into Ortiz's slump. Like..well...

Maybe he's going blind... 

Maybe he's going insane...

Or maybe Hank Steinbrenner has hired a hitman to poison Papi's water bottles!

Whatever the reason, one thing is for certain: without Jason Bay tearing it up this year, Ortiz would be in far worse shape. I can't help but root for Big Papi to turn things around ASAP. He's too young (33 years old) to be watching his career go down the drain. He has many good years of baseball left in him (or so I hope). So here is my ode to "The Nation" in hoping that Big Papi will discover what's missing sooner than later. 

In other news, Brazilian soccer superstar Kaka was traded 

from the Italian club AC Milan to Real Madrid in a record-breaking deal (the transfer fee exceeded $94 million, which surpassed a deal that sent Zidane from Juventus to Real Madrid in 2001). Once again, the sports world proves to be immune (or ignorant) to the tough global economic times. To be honest, the first time I ever heard the word "Kaka" was when my mom told me it was what her childhood friend used to say when she had to go to the bathroom. So now, instead of going number two, I guess I'll have to interpret "Kaka" as meaning soccer brilliance worth over $94.

Finally, I have a few final words for Brett Favre. GO AWAY. Go farm in Mississippi or something. I already feel bad for the Minnesota Viking players that have to constantly answer questions about you. Gah, I don't wanna spend anymore time talking about you.

Thats all for now. Stay tuned.