A Unique "Top 5 Countdown"

So I was sitting around thinking about how I really can't stand seeing certain athletes gain so much face time on "Sportscenter"or any other TV show. Part of me wishes these people would just disappear so that I would never have to look at them again. And then I realized I had to create my "Top 5 People I'm Entirely Sick of Looking At"




Plaxico Burress: Dude, this is for your own good. You shot yourself. You have been the brunt of countless jokes over the past couple months. Sure, you can play football, but until I see a highlight of you burning defenses, you just need to go away. I really could care less about your court case.






Sean Avery: Alright, you like purses. You're into fashion. I suppose I can maybe get over that because youre a badass on the ice. Oh, whats that? You and your idiot mouth got you released from the Dallas Stars? You're not being a badass on the ice anymore? Oh...well that changes things...when (and if) you start making a positive impact on the ice for a team someplace and not running your jealous mouth, then maybe I'll remove you from this list.






Evander Holyfield: This one is bittersweet for me. I'm a huge "Real Deal" fan. You were my favorite boxer back in the day. But that right there is the key - back in the day. I feel like you're tarnishing your legacy at this point, even if you did lose a controversial decision in your last fight. And I also heard somethin about you havin 11 kids with nine different women..? Thats kinda sketchy, but I still wanna be able to think of you as that guy who ruled boxing in the 90's, which is why I wanna stop hearing about you in the ring.






Roger Clemens: Why couldn't you be like Andy Pettite and just admit you messed up? When I think about you I think of three words: steroids, indictment, and lying. You screwed up, and I can't stand hearing about you on the news anymore. You were a great pitcher back in the day, one of the best...but that has changed now, which is why I really hope I dont see you on TV anytime soon.






Adam "Pacman" Jones: Alright dude, heres the deal - you're not playing in the NFL next year. The only guy crazy enough to sign you just released you. At this point, I can't think of anyone who would wanna add you to their team. I mean, how'd you do with the Cowboys this past year? Well, you beat up one of their bodyguards and got yourself suspended, and then turned in a very average performance for the rest of the season. Now you're involved in another shooting case...outside of a nightclub...again. I don't really know what else to say except please deny any media requests for interviews and spare me the time of having to watch you on TV.